Reality Bites - Fiction is Here to Stay

I had planned for this to be an all-fiction-blog...as in; me not writing anything but fanFiction on it. As of right now, I'm in the middle of my first (yes, I assume there will be more to come, as I find it rather enjoyable) HG/SS-fiction.
A couple of years ago I found myself in a state, where I LOATHED ALL FANFICTION. I would not read fiction, and worked hard to avoid all fanArt located at deviantArt. I managed pretty well.
About the same time, a dear friend of mine, discovered the world of fanFiction, and was nowhere to be found without a story on hand. Either long gone in front of a computer, or even reading on her cell-phone-internet. She was deeply in love with all the stories. I still refused to be known as "a reader".
A year later, I read my first fiction. I can't remember it's name right now, but I'm sure my friend does...she usually does remember stuff I don't...stuff she doesn't have to remember.
I read my first fanfiction, and got blown away. It was a great adventure. And I fell deep into it. I still swore I would never write. Even though my friend begged me to. I would never be "a writer". I kept reading. Read different pairings, to figure out my favourite. Read ugly stories of Hagrid and owls, and beautiful stories with Severus and Harry, And Ron and Harry, And somwhere in the line, about Ron and Draco. I had sworn I would never 'fall in love' with Draco. I did. Or with the story of Draco. A horrid story, with rape, violence and fear. But I loved it. Because he became a man. He grew up in this story, and left the annoying kid he used to be, behind. I realized it's not the characters that matter, but the beauty of the storyline.

I realized then, that I would not read just to read, but read to discover. Read to find out more, just as I read regular litterature. To challenge my mind.
A few months ago, my friend introduced to me, her favourite story. "The Home Fries Nazi". I had been asked to read it before. And when she reminded me this time, I did. (Last time, I refused for some reason - it might have been when I didn't read any fiction, before I got into this world.)
Well. I read. And enjoyed. Even got ideas of other stories. Stories and pictures. Images in my head, of stories only I knew. And all of a sudden, I found myself here. In front of my computer. Fingers on the tabs. Writing. Writing "Reflections".
I had just seen the first HP-movie, the one with that great mirror, and I sat with a pen and a sheet of paper, skribbling down a sketch of a man, sitting in front of it. My mother asked who it was, and without thinking it trough, I answered "Snape". She wondered what he saw, in the mirror....and again I answered without thinking, that he saw himself smiling, because he was truly happy.
She looked sad, when she aknowledged that it sounded like a sad story. That Snape's greatest desire was to be happy and smiling. I never replied to her thoughts, but in my head, a story took form. A story of Snape looking into that mirror. And out of that, grew the story of "Reflections".
I wrote it down, and mailed it to my friend, who after all, was to blame for the whole thing.
I named the mail "For your eyes only", as I never intended to publish it. It was a one-time-thing.

The reply I got was "Why is it only for my eyes?? I bet you have loads more in there. You'll just need a proper name, and start publishing." A few days later I made this blog. The name 'LumoslunA' were already there. And the first story too.
Then I wrote "Tu sei una Stella" and I was gone. Really gone. I started out "In the Shadows" as a three-chapther-thingy, and all of a sudden it came to life, and I couldn't stop.

As I finished my longest story ("In The Shadows"), I also wrote "In Loving Memory", and published it. I started out a few more stories, and they will appear. Sooner or later. Right now, I have moved into another area of my mind.
I believed myself to be a Slash-writer. Only a slash-writer.

Four weeks ago, I fulfilled one of my friends wishes. Sitting on the bus, travelling to meet with her and a bunch of other friends of mine, I finished a story. For her. It was my first non-slash-fiction. A Luna/Severus-story.
I never believed myself able to do this kind of pairing, and even though I'm not entirely sure that the story is any good, I will publish it here. (as soon as I find the time to transfer it from my iPod) It's an easy story of affection, and reality. A bit sad, but beautiful even so.

I got home from my friends, and started another storyline. I had to do something to keep my mind of other things, and all of a sudden, I had written a short story about Hermione and Severus, a pairing I used to really dislike, due to the age-differense. Now I'v decided that Hermione is 38...and then I feel better about them.
My new story is being read by my friend. She read the first 3000 words, that I believed to be the entire story. She decided it wasn't nearly enough said, and that there could be five times the length, if I used the potential in the story to it's fullest.
As for now, I'm almost at 14.000 words, still counting. And I'm in love with them. With everything they say and do, and with the way they treat each other. The way Hermione makes Sev a better man. Not softer, but more self consious. And the way Severus makes Mione alive and kicking. It's quite amazing to see something this beautiful grow from your own mind. My mind.

----

Tonight I've been watching the first three (!!) movies, and I started wondering how my mind got to this. Being a writer of fanfiction, makes you look at things different. Severus has always been my hero. I love him for all that he is, and everything he does. I knew from the start that he was a true hero. And I got proven right in the end.
By watching the movies now, I feel that he is the glue. Without him, there would be nothing. There would be brats, and evil grownups. Severus is the real one. The sane one. And the true one. Strangely, he still grows on me every time I watch these movies, and I can hardly wait for number six in the line. His story.
When he appears in the movies, after you've read a bit of fiction, and written a bit of fiction as well, you see him, as he would be in your stories. You give him qualities that fits your universe of writing, and imagine him having secret meetings between scenes. It's strange to see him on-screene, while watching with your mom. She is in no way capable of knowing that her daughter is writing stories of Mione and Sev, and see the glory of it. She would die a bit. Hence - she doesn't get to know. Drawback; it means I can't tell what I'm thinking. Can't speak of the pictures I want to draw, the looks he sends that "has to be real", and the things he says that would do PERFECT in my story! Sad - but true. And for the best.

I stayed up, when the other two went to bed, halfway trough CoS. I stayed up, and made it trough PoA too. If I hadn't known that there is a day tomorrow, I would have kept going trough the last two too. But it's too late. Too bloody late.

But - stay tuned. There will be a new fiction here any day now. First off is my SS/LL-fiction. Then, as soon as I'm all done, my HG/SS-fiction will appear. Hang in there. And please do leave comments if you read. I'd love to know you were here...

Take care. Live Magically.