Part Thirteen - Explanation

Minerva stood up, walked around her desk, and kneeled in front of him. She was clearly sorry. And even her eyes were teary. She grabbed his hand, and told him how sorry she was.
The night before, she had met Severus in the hallway, just ending her meeting with a couple of Ministry-members. They had called upon her a couple of weeks ago. Telling her of frustrated parents, that had complained about her staff-professors. Male proffesors! Being in a relationship. And how this couldn’t be accepted. She had worked on her case for the past week, and had been hoping she wouldn’t have to tell. But they had gathered her papers and refused her to be there, during the actual meeting. Dumbledore had offered to move to his Ministry-frame, to be her eyes for the moment, and had demanded Minerva to make sure they didn’t make it worse, until they knew more of the outcome of this whole unfortunate event.

Harry looked at her, stunned, speachless, and feeling he was going to be sick. They couldn’t do this. They couldn’t make them leave eachother, or leave Hogwarts. There was no options. No other way than what was now. He felt the world swirl, but managed to shrug it off, and ask what had happened last night. Ask what on earth she had been thinking, leaving Severus with ideas of Harry leaving him.

Minerva sighed. She had only meant for it to make them less clingy for a couple of days, so that none of the student’s would complain to the departement as the case was running. She had never meant for it to hurt either one of them so much. She had totally forgotten about Severus’ past of loneliness. He seemed so happy these days, it was hard to see his past. Never recalled that she actually knew what she was doing to that poor man, before it was too late. He had strode off, with a hard, cold face, and a nod at her. And then it had hit her. She hadn’t seen him like that for years. The old, frightening appearance of his had returned in a glimpse.
She hadn’t slept at all. She had been lying staring into the roof of her bed, hearing Dumbledore’s disappointed voice telling her, she would have been better of telling them what was going on, than scaring his Severus like that. His heart couldn’t beare the thought of loosing Harry, and the truth would have been easier, as they both would have known. Even though it was a truth no-one would have wanted, it would have been the better way to do this. They were both grown ups. They would have managed. (she pointed out, she had to get rid of the bedroom frame, it was way too annoying, and caused her too many nights without sleep..)
She knew then, that it had been a foul thing to do. Telling Severus of Harry and Ron’s chat, but she had handeled in rush. She hadn’t planned it to be some evil plot, but it had ended that way. And she was sorry. Very sorry. And hurt on Severus’ behalf.

Harry looked at her, with huge eyes. He had actually never believed himself to beg her to let him stay. But he did. He begged. He told her he’d do anything to keep things the way they were. This was his life. Severus was his life. Hogwarts and Severus.

Minerva smiled again. Promised to do her best. Reached out for Harry, and embraced him. Hugged him for the mere of five minutes. And a moment Harry forgot. He felt safe there. In between the walls of the head-office there was always piece. The only thing missing was the smell. The fine blend of Lemon Drops and Liqurice, of old man, and bird. With Minerva in there, it felt like a home, more than an office. But the desk, the chairs, and the pictures were all the same. The solar system, that Albus had kept in his office, was moved down to Severus’ dungeons, because he had loved them so much when he first came to Hogwarts. Fawkes’ old stand was moved into a corner, but was still there. The table that used to contain Albus’ pencieve, was now holding Minervas. A beautiful, emerald green bowl, that went well with the rest of the present headmistress’wardrobe. Alongside of the pencieve, was a pile of books. Harry recalled them as diaries, as he saw small golden locks keeping them closed.
Minerva gave him a firm squeeze before she let go, asked him if he wanted her to apologize and explain to Severus, or if he would do it himself. Harry offered to do it, as he knew it was easier for him to explain, than for her.
She smiled again, and ushered him towards the door. He was nearly late for class.

As he took hold of the doorknob, she whispered ”Yes, they are diaries….my father was muggle, he told me to keep my memories. Long before I knew what a pencieve was. Memories are important Harry. Keep them close. You might need them some day.”