Part Eight - In The Darkness

Nighttime was hard. There was so many dark memories that seemed clearer when matching the surroundings. Harry often woke up close to crying, and almost as often, he turned around to face Severus looking into the air. Looking scared.
They didn’t talk much about the war. They talked a lot, of other things, but remembering the war was hard enough. There were too many old friends and family-members that was gone. Too many dark memories.

Tonight was no different. Well. Not all different. Harry had woke from a dream. He had woke from a dream of darkness, and all of a sudden he couldn’t understand why. The dream wasn’t frightening like it used to be. It was a warm dream, about the night he had told Severus everything. He smiled to himself, as he heard the man beside him choke a silent scream. Not at all that unusual, and by reflex he reached out to him. to offer a comforting hug. He slid his arm around him, and Severus woke. He looked like he had seen a ghost…or something far worse.
Harry was used to not talking about the nightmares, as they had decided, it wouldn’t make them go away, they would only have twice as many. But this time it felt like he had to. Maybe it was the voice inside him, that had told him to go dive into Rons pencieve in the middle of the day, that told him to ask. The same voice that had encouraged him to tell Severus about the feelings that very first time. No matter what it was, or who it was, he asked.
And Severus turned to him, still looking frightened as Harry had never seen him before, and answered the question slowly, with a counterquestion;
”Are you going to leave me now?”

Harrys stomac twinched as he heard the word leave. And felt his world rip in the seams. He felt like the whole room was swimming, as he looked into those eyes. Those eyes….deep pools to drown in. Deep. ”What?…no..why?”