Part Eleven - Then He Realized

Ablus had asked him straight out one day. In the hallway. Asked how long he had planned to wait before he told him, or before he broke down on his own.
Severus had ben totally surprised by Abus’outcome. He knew he could read mind, but not that he could do it without any warning.
Albus had known for over a year when he confronted Severus.
After the confrontation, he dragged a mindblown Severus into his office. Severus tried to think back, but had no memory of walking the steep stairs to the headmaster-office. The first thing he remembered, was the taste of Albus’ Lemon Drops. Those famous Lemon Drops.
Albus had been sitting beside him on the floor when he came to it. Not in the usual manners, as Albus used to sit behing his huge mahogany-desk, and his visitors in one of the chairs. He sat on the floor - beside him.
He held his hand, and during the next hour, Severus forgot he had ever put on his mask. He knew he wasn’t able to keep anything from his friend, and he knew he would feel better when he’d talked. He had told him everything. Started with the day they delievered Harry on the doorstep at Privet Drive, how he felt he was leaving a part of him behind when he said goodbye to the tiny boy.
He had never told anyone before, but he knew Albus had felt the same, and that he probably knew all the time. After all, this was half Lily’s boy. There had to be some feelings involved. And Albus had known. Ofcourse.
He told him of how concerned he had been, when Harry got back from every holiday and vacation, looking paler and skinnier than the last time. Of how he had been sure that they had been abusing him in more than one way, and had wanted to go over there and get rid of them all, several times.

As he talked, and opened up, Severus had discovered his feelings for Harry were much deeper than he had recogniced earlier. This wasn’t something he would be able to forget. This wouldn’t go away.
He told his friend of the times he had watched Ron longing. Harry’s best friend was so in love with him, he didn’t see anything else. He witnessed how Ron hid his feelings by looking in another direction whenever Ginny entered a room. But at the same time, Severus had seen that Harry didn’t love Ginny. She was just a hidingplace. A mask he had put on, something he would do to make sure noone saw the truth. He had been so sure that Harry in reality was in love with Ron. That the two of them in fact loved each other, but didn’t dare to admit. Didn’t dare to find out.
Albus reached out to him, and told him to wait. Told him that if his thoughts was real, and true, someday, they would happen. Someday. No matter what they were. Albus touched his hand, just in time to see the flash of thought going trough Severus’ head. And he smiled.
The well-known twinkle in Albus’ eyes appeared, as he told his friend that the thought that just flew through Severus’ head, could happen too. He didn’t know for a fact that Ron was the one Harry longed for.
Severus had stopped thinking. He had no idea how he could be so easy to read. How all of his mind and thinkings could be so far out on display. How he could not have recognized his own feelings before anyone else. Was he indeed an open book?
Albus assured him it was normal. He had been watching him for some time, seen him change. Seen his looks. Seen how he started to comb his hair for the meals. Ironing his robes. Typical signs that something was happening.
Severus was stunned again. Stunned that someone could know without knowing. But, he admitted to himself, if someone should have seen, it had had to be Dumbledore. After all, the man was something very special.
Severus had still decided to wait. Still decided to be there for Harry. Force him to talk some day. Make him talk about what he felt for Ron. So that he at least didn’t have to watch the boy hurt so bad.
Albus told him how impressed he was, and offered another Lemon Drop, as he reminded him, that he wasn’t too easy to read, and maybe others weren’t either.

Harry had been laying on his side, looking at Severus the entire time he had spoken. His arm was resting on the fluffy pillow, head resting on his forearm. Eyes half shut. Watching the man of his dreams talking about how he had never believed this could happen. He saw gratefulness in Severus’ eyes. He saw that rare smile he had grown to love. And he felt so peaceful. So right.
At the same time he knew. He knew just how little there was, to rip the whole thing. He knew he had to remind his lover of how important he was to him. He knew that words from others could destroy it in a split second, and he knew he had to be careful. And he knew very well he had to talk to Minerva. First ting in the morning.